A Post About Time, Pace, the Gentle, but Cruel Speed of It All, and the Grace It Offers as Wisdom Trickles In. Thinking of the Sealey/Johnson/Wooley Household

I'm not quite sure when our families blended. I tried to find photographs of the very moment, but there isn't one. I recall interviewing Dave for the summer institute and apparently the first time I met Kris I asked her, "How the hell do you work here," but I don't have an exact moment of the friendship's beginning. They moved to Stratford and I recall Abu, Lossine, and I going to a party at their first home in the backyard. Justin was still in high school then. Was it Ish's first birthday? I have no idea, but they were strangers and I went because Dr. Sealy was being collegial to others in Stratford. 

Of course, Isaiah and Val started to attend CWP programs and Justin became a student at the University, and Dave began co-teaching Project Citizen, and Kris and I gathered often over campus stuff. There were Chitunga events, and Kris awards, and MLK obligations, and summer work, too. Our families both looked at the same house on Williams Street while finding more permanence in Stratford (both loved it, but it was impractical to our needs). I bought on Mt. Pleasant. They bought on Nichols.

And then it sort of fused together. Dinners. Favors. Covid groceries. Driving lessons. Graduations. Birthdays. Parties. Emergency trips to the hospital and Crandall nudity scares (I'm sure that was cause for panic in Dave). Possibilities. 

Abu, Lossine, Chitunga, Kanyea, Edem...they became men. Justin went to grad school in Memphis. Then the next in line,  middle school nerds and 8th grade dances, the photo shoot in my backyard.

But Sh'Zaam. Val's in Louisiana as of last week and today, Isaiah is driven to Oberlin. And the Sealey/Wooley/Johnsons still managed to have me over for dinner last night before they take off. It's gone by too fast and I'm thinking of the night before I departed for Binghamton in 1990. It is vivid in my head. I was packed and it was time to go. I was dropped off. That was that.

I also remember Abu and Lossine starting Brockport, Chitunga....LeMoyne.

And the feels are plentiful and a lot. So much so that I could only look at Kris and Dave last night to say, "Well, there will be many changes coming your way. I'm here for you to process when you're ready."

And Isaiah...this mousy, tiny, introverted kid has blossomed into an intellectual, creative stud who is a fascinating thinker and doer. There's no way to predict where he'll end up. He's on the road to find out and, as parents, Dave & Kris invest their everything. It'll all evolve as it should.

I took the photo above at the graduation party with Isaiah and Val - some of their friends. Sadly, Maddie had already left. 1990. 2023. 33 years difference. Same whirling of time, pace, departure, and next steps. 

It is something and I am wishing him the best, just like I did Val. 

As for the parental units...there's only this hug. It's always hard to believe that one day nothing will be the same, but it happens...and that is why we invest so much into the now while we can. 

Here's to the road trip. Here's to the learning ahead. Let another phase come and go with painlessness and ease.