He's Home for a Few Days Before Departure, but I Have Night Classes. So, Channeling the Days of Yesteryear Just In Case He Does Choose to Eat

Part of parenting and developing ever-changing boundaries is the food game. I'm am trying to recall my own history. In middle and high school, meals were always prepped with mom working inside and dad giving all our food away to the neighbors outside on the grill. As my sisters and I grew older, this changed some because we had work schedules. At times we'd fend for ourselves, but we usually could get a meal in before departure. On occasion, we'd splurge and treat mom and dad to fast food....a step in the right direction. 

Then, college years, we returned home for more of the same...loved a good home-cooked meal, but work and friends led us in numerous directions. Best days were backyard gatherings with barbecue, neighbors, and too much food.

Upon my Kentucky home visits, I learned that mom was good for cooking one or two meals, and then was looking for alternatives: would I cook, could we go out, what's leftover in the fridge. Of course, doctorate days, I got real good about rotating homes so I always got fed because, well, my income was $12,000 a year and I had no time. 

Now, the routine stays the same. One meal when I come home and then mom knows I'll likely be looking elsewhere (and I cook more and more).This all brings me to this post, which is that Chitunga is staying in his bedroom for a few days as he transitions into his next adulthood steps. Now, the Covid years when he returned home, no matter what I cooked he'd always order something from Grub Hub. Mostly Chipotle. Probably his way of resisting that he was once again home.

Now, I know he comes in today, but I'll be at work. Two nights this week I'm obligated to university responsibilities and I started stressing that he wouldn't have a home cooked meal, so I made white rice and stir fried Korean beef with peppers and onions. I also stored them in takeout containers to say, "hey, there's food in the fridge if you need it." I won't be home (except Wednesday - and I'm hoping we'll go out), but I'm channeling Mama Sue's "You have to have at least one home cooked meal. So, that's what I did last night. And this morning, I'm also cooking a pork loin, because that's one of his favorites. I will also cook potatoes. Why? Because, it's food. And that is an act of love, whenever it is eaten or not.

But I am also thinking how out of habit I've been since the crazier days on Mt. Pleasant. For the last few years, if I'm not hosting a party, I'm typically rotating meals with Oona nd Pam. We gather to eat at 6. Sometimes I cook, and sometimes Pam cooks, and then there are time when Oona brings food from the hospital. 

But here I am with a slight return of the past, and the knowledge he will either eat the food or be annoyed by it. That, I feel, is the full circle...as one day I hope all that happens in his household, too.

And if he doesn't eat, I have food to share with others!