I Never Meant for My Courses to be a Dateline Episode and I Pushed 20/20 Away from the Way I Teach, but My Elbows Had Another Plan

It's the end of summer. I've been writing a lot. I mean 14 hour days for several week, and although I typically keep my weenises in the air, when at my desk, they rub into the desktop. As result, I have two callused elbows with large scabs. I didn't even know they were there until beach friends wondered what happened. "Writing, I guess." They thought maybe that is why many professors have patches on their sport coat elbows. Could be.

Well, in both classes I taught this week, I suddenly looked down and saw my syllabi and attendance sheets splattered with redness. Actually, it was dripping on the desks, too, and I immediately knew my elbows must have cracked again.

"Great," I told my students. "As if I'm not a wonky professor already, but now you can tell all your friends I have this bleeding-elbow man. It's so gross." 

As Alice and I always said, "If we try to be normal, our eccentricity comes out in other ways. Mine squirts from the weenis.

First week was a success. I have heard rumors about teaching honors classes, and I have a freshman one this year. Within minutes I realized how special the 20 kids were. They were attentive, curious, and already dedicated to a lifetime of finding out. I've always resisted teaching honors classes because, HEY, shouldn't all kids who attend college already be honors? Well, I am realizing that there's a financial game to it all, and that the college-ready kids are often put into honors programs. Who knew? Back in my day, college was college, but now there's layers because they only really want the dollars from families. Anyway, the honors kids are special and I can tell it's going to be a wonderful semester.

In fact, for the first time since coming to Fairfield University I realized these kids are close to what I used to have at the Brown School in Kentucky. I was fortunate to teach in an urban school that treated its students like human beings. As a result, they excelled and made me love teaching. I lost that flare since leaving Kentucky, but I definitely felt some of it with the first day vibe of these freshman. Imagine a group of kids who have their brains alive, especially given the circumstances of our nation. 

It's special, and I feel honored to be chosen to teach such a class. It felt like the Brown School family, which is something I've missed since 2007 when leaving Kentucky. I've spent the rest of my adult life trying to recreate something similar (even though I hear my utopia no longer exists there any more, either....stupid administration).

Best news yet, however, is not a single one of them is a vampire. Super excited I didn't find any attached to my elbows at the end of class.